Nuggets Vs. Bunny Ears

presented by j:


no matter how good our premarital counseling may have been, i have learned that marriage brings out new – sometimes frustrating – and often disconcerting revelations about my dear wife.  This has been exemplified no better than in a persistent battle being waged in our household that we call, “Nuggets Vs. Bunny Ears.”

this battle, so aptly named, is all about – get ready for it – socks.

for more, click below.

to be more specific, this is about how my wife and i choose to fold socks in warring fashions (not to be confused with “warring factions.” see: Republican Party).

we often do laundry together as a team-building exercise, but there do arise times when the duty is thrust upon one of us rather than the other.

now, both of us hang shirts up in the same manner and fold pants the same way.  and though my wife knows how to fold my boxers appropriately, i admit i remain clueless on how to separate and organize her own undergarments, which will forever remain a mystery to me.  therefore, we have agreed that in the interest of our collective sanity, it is best for me to leave them in a pile for her to contend with.

but sock-folding is something we cannot be reconciled on.  i prefer to fold my socks into Nuggets.

exhibit A:

procedure:
tuck pair of socks into itself entirely to create a sound, secure ball of sockiness.  when folded in this manner, you can be confident they will stay securely tucked until needed, like troops assembled for battle.

my wife, on the other hand, prefers to fold her socks into Bunny Ears.

exhibit B:

procedure:
fold top part of socks together, but instead of rolling entirely, stop so that the end of the socks hang out freely like floppy bunny ears.
in my (humble)(and unbiased) opinion, i find this quite preposterous.  for several reasons.
1. Reason the First (1st):
the pair of socks is not secure.  it can easily become untangled from itself when in Bunny Ear-form, which is precisely how socks get lost in the first place, whereas, as my mother used to say, “A sock in a nugget is a sock you keep.” (my mother never said this, but she should have)
2. Reason the Second (2nd):
Bunny Ears do not stack well, because they flop around like the tentacles of a dead octopus, if a dead octopus’ (octopi?) tentacles (tentacli?) were made of 100% cotton.  it breeds all manner of disorganization in the dresser, not to mention when packing for a trip. (oh, the judgmental eyes of airport security and their black & white x-ray vision)
3. Reason the Third (3rd) and Final:
Bunny Ear socks just look ridiculous (based on a true story).
but fear not, dear readers (aka Rhonda Kimble), we have an armistice in this battle.  i don’t interfere with Christa’s Bunny Ears, and she doesn’t interfere with my Nuggets.
still, i hope for a breakthrough one day.  i call that breakthrough, “our future children.”  because when she is not looking, i will be teaching them to make sock Nuggets.
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